Best Marriage Advice

Travis:

It's hard to nail it down to my "best" advice but obviously a big one that people always say is "good communication"... But what does that really mean? To me and in the context of a good marriage, it means always be able to talk... About anything and everything. Giving the cold shoulder treatment, or saying you're fine when you're really not, or any of the silly games lije hint dropping, or assuming they should know what you're feeling WILL lead to problems... Britt and I feel that we can talk about anything, even if it's hard... That way we're able to deepen our relationship and support each other through whatever we may be facing. Obviously we're not perfect, and it's also important to note that even if you say something as clear and concise as possible, if the other person didn't understand it the way you intended to convey it... There was a lack of communication. (I'm still learning that the hard way) like a couple weeks back Britt said can you put this tray the oven and set the timer... I said sure and put the tray in the oven. A few minutes later she asked how much time was left on the timer... I said what timer? All I heard was put it in the oven! Lol I think I just need to listen better... Which is my final point on communication. Focus on becoming a better listener, give the other person your full attention :) -the end

Brittany:

Maybe it's just the recreational therapy background in me, but I think it's important to find activities that you both enjoy doing together so you can continue to strengthen your FRIENDSHIP... A lot of couples that struggle I feel are missing that element and all that ties them together is dealing with kids, work and the day to day... only to find when they're alone they struggle enjoying time together. The end goal being to have your spouse genuinely become your best friend, which opens doors for respectful communication and a more loving connection.

Dad:

Give negative/criticism as little as possible. Positive comments go along way.

Tyson:
Unconditional love. We all have expectations, and communicating those expectations can help them become realistic expectations, but don't ever let your feelings toward your spouse be connected to the fulfillment of those expectations. Always put your spouse above yourself. Consciously and deliberately thinking about someone else all the time can be exhausting and difficult, especially at first, but this gets easier as you make it a habit and life/marriage can be so wonderful when you are both thinking about each other over your own selves. (I'm still have a long ways to go, still working on this). Also realize that in marriage you get to take turns having bad days and helping each other through it. Occasionally your bad days will happen at the same time, decide beforehand how to handle this difficult situation (going to bed early helps us). Also... what Travis and Brittany said 😎 👍


Amber:

This quote kept coming to my mind as I was thinking of what to say... I believe that no matter what problems you face it is better together. Love each other first and you can solve any problem.

Jana:
Seriously good advice! 👍

🏼 haha, I sat here typing out about 5 different things before deciding on this: I highly recommend reading about the 5 love languages and figuring out what yours and your spouse's love languages are (just google–there is even a quiz to take.) I feel like that information is a game changer for a marriage. It's highly likely that you and your spouse have different primary love languages–or you feel love in different ways. Which means, you might need to learn to become fluent in a different love language to make sure you are communicating love to your spouse in a way that is loud and clear to them. For example, Dustin's primary love language is Physical Touch (or Quality Time, he scored pretty evenly on those two), whereas mine is Acts of Service. Because I speak Acts of Service, I often tried to make Dustin feel loved by doing things like making his meals, cleaning up after him, ironing his clothes, gassing up the car, etc. Which is a nice sentiment and all, but I was distressed to find out he still wasn't feeling loved, because I wasn't saying "I love you" in a language he understood. So I've had to learn to be really intentional about giving hugs, back scratches, holding his hand, and making time for snuggles. Whereas he has learned that if he wants to really make my heart go pitter-pat, cleaning the shower or taking the kids to the park is a really good way to go. 😉

seriously though, read about it. It's really been helpful for marriage, and every other family relationship I have, as I've learned what my other family member's love languages are.

Dustin:
My advice: expect nothing, be grateful for everything. What I mean by that: don't assume that your spouse is going to act a certain way, or know how you feel already, or be able to read your mind. Communication is absolutely essential! Explain how you feel and try and work together to five or why you feel that way. And it's okay to say, "I'm not sure how I'm feeling or what I want. I need help. (Or I need some space)."

Trinsica:

Something I have observed is that it's important to go on dates and have fun! Also, be very open about everything. Never be afraid to talk to your spouse about things. Another thing that is very important is to have scripture study and prayer daily as a couple.

Skyler:

I think one thing I have always admired is when married couples really express their love often to each other and when they refrain from anything that might diminish the message of love they are giving. I think everyone emphasized a lot of those same things, but some of the days I think you can do that is being willing to accept correction, never putting each other down (even if it's "just a joke"), doing small acts of service, expressing love and sincere praise often, and supporting each other in your dreams and interests.